Space Fleet Space-Log Episode 34
Episode 34 - "The stroke that gets you off"" Spacedate: 4257.105.14.44 Episode 34 starts with the Delta Squad Marines having entered the Chaotic Caverns mentioned in the Oddly Specific Prophesy, where they were immediately set upon by Sporks. We pick up the fight with Ray attacking the Cross-Bow Spork with his Glaive-Guisarme, but the wiley creature Defended by one. Sprout, hemmed in in the cave by Ray's giant Construct bumped awkwardly into Zorf as he tried to get by, then Jabbed the Little Spork Zorf was facing off against. Braxxz was in NPC mode tonight, so he moved to secure the entrance to the Cave. Zorff drew his Blunderbuss and gave up the Free Strike to move away, but the Little Spork Fumbled on his attack! Zorf blasted with the Clusterbus and then burst into flame, (his cheesy Blue Fan-Fic Flame, not actually anything useful), Ray Flurried on, but the Cross-Bow Spork Defended by one again! Ray responded with a double attack, Criticalling once and Fumbling once, (but made his Weapon Safety Check), and inflicted Shock Ten on his target. Ray rolled shite twice on his next attack, but still hit once thanks to Shock 10, then on the next attack he Fumbled once, (Safely) and hit once, but the big Crossbow Spork Natural 20 Defended. Sprout Snap Kicked the little guy again, nearly halfing him, then on Initiative 30 the little dude tried to run away simultaneously as Zorf and Sprout attacked. Despite getting hit twice, he escaped anyway, and ran off back down the corridor yelling, with Zorf and Sprout in pursuit. Braxxz continued to hold the door. New Round: Ray rolled the best Initiative this time, and started into another Flurry. He soundly thrashed the Cross-Bow Spork on his first attack, but left him at a sliver and got attacked back simultaneously. The Spork's Bite was Armor Piercing, but not enough and the strike went off of Ray's AC, so he shredded the Spork with his Pole-Axe and moved on. Sprout continued to chase the little Spork down hallway who kept Defending as he went. While Spork kept flailing futilely, Zorff fired into melee, (Sprout saying not to worry about the called Shot), killing the last guy with his Acid Damage, the blast of his Blunderbuss echoing around caverns. Braxxz reported that no enemies had approached the door during the fight. After only a brief respite, Squad-Leader Ray decided that they should proceed up the stairs directly in front of them, leaving the 2 side passages for later. At the top of the stairs they came to a 'T'-Intersection, with crude hide curtains blocking the view in either direction. Ray rolled a Natural 20 on his Keen Senses Check and heard something moving to the west, so sprout ripped down that curtain, revealing a passageway that did a dogleg sharp to the right. Braxxz held the top of the stairs while the rest of the Squad moved up to another hide blocking the tunnel, which Sprout ripped down again, revealing the Sporkish Chieftess and her lackeys in the large cavern beyond! Apparently they had heard the commotion out in the hallway, as they were all arrayed near the entrance, and the Sporkish Sorcerer clearly had an attack ready for whoever came in! The Sporkish Fireblast had an area of effect big enough to catch the whole group, so everybody had to try and Defend. Well, except for Ray, since it went off his AC. Sprout rolled shitty and was hit, but RF'd all the Damage and made his Agility Check vs the Force component, as did Zorf, so only the Burn actually landed. Spacedate: 4257.105.14.45 Ray and Zorf fired up their Squad Command, both of them making it this time for the full bonus, then charged into the room past Sprout, (who did not roll as well for Initiative this Round). Then, the Sporks attacked!, Zorf got clubbed for PD3 for the first of many times, and the Armor Piercing Bite went off of Ray's AC but not the Chieftess' paired nasty sword attack, which Armor Pierced Ray's Construct deeply, causing him to 'give 2 shits'. Remembering his comment from last week, Ray used his Shaman ability to bounce his assailants back 2 Hexes and inflicting PD1. This seemed to enrage the Chieftess though, and she charged right back in to double attack again, forcing Ray to gives his last shit! Zorff got clubbed, then got clubbed again, then kept getting clubbed, his armor taking a huge beating. Eventually he got powered up and attacked back with his focused Batlis, but not before Sprout charged in past everyone to find the Sorcerer lurking at the back of the room. He gave up a Free Strike from one of the minion Sporks on his way in, but hit the Sorcerer for a Critical Jab that Stunned him and blew off most of his armor. At this point Braxxz Radioed-In to report that the Top of the Stairs were secure. Ray continued to get attacked with the Chieftess' double swords and a minion bite to boot, his armor now taking damage! One of the minions ran over and clubbed Sprout, blowing up armor, but took the PD and Knock-Back, (since apparently we are remembering to do that tonight?). Ray double attacked the Chieftess for 2 huge hits, (including the Arc lightning!), but she Natural 20 Defended, leaving him more disappointed then Michael Cera in Scott Pilgrim when Whatsherface changes her mind. Then she double attacked back, now bypassing Ray's armor & hitting him twice, (as well as he took a bite from the other guy as well). Sprout got double hit on a bad Defend roll, but Bennied and rolled enough better to avoid the hits! Zorf meanwhile was doggedly sticking to his strategy of just getting clubbed over and over and over again while he powered up and had his armor blown off, then incurred a Free Strike to Translocate over and attack the Sporcerer, (getting bit for Necrotic for his trouble), then unleashed his super attack, but rolled crap, so he Bennied, but rolled worse, and received the same Benny he had just spent back as a Pity-Benny for sucking so hard. Ray Continued his Double attacks back against the Chieftess, using his Squad Command buff to hit twice, then launched into a Flurry, going simultaneous and hitting again! She double attacked back twice, but Fumbled once, (Safely), and Ray resisted all but 5 from the other strike, so now it was her turn to be disappointed. Meanwhile, Sprout unleashed his dastardly Quantum Deceleration Psionic on the Sorcerer, who failed his Save, and was basically fucked for the rest of the fight! Ray laid into the Chieftess again, but she Defended even though she was slightly Shocked! Then he killed the shit out of her on his next Strike, impaling her with the Shock Glaive-Guisarme as she collapsed on him while (semi) dry humping him and fountaining blood from her mouth as she tried to French Orc Kiss him. It was pretty awkward for everybody else in the room for a second, then the fight resumed! Sprout healed Zorff's Force Skin, which was nearly depleted, but got clubbed because of the simultaneous Defend Penalty, so he used his Knock-Back and PD infliction. Zorf Batliss Flurried on the Sorcerer, finally hitting his Personal DC! The remaining little Spork tried to run away down the passage at this point, but Ray chased after him. Zorf hit again with his Flurry, Thrusting all over the place, then Sprout Chilling Snap-Kicked the Sorcerer, leaving him at a sliver. Also, Braxxz Radioed-In to report that the Top of the Stairs were secure. Ray double attacked the guy running away, taking a big chunk out of him, but he attacked back with his Armor Piercing Bite!. Zorf dropped baticulous, translocated away, (taking a Necrotic Bite Free-Strike in the process), drew his Blunderbuss and fired a Clusterburst at all 3 of the Sporks left in the room. He hit the first guy and Squad Commanded to hit the Sorcerer, (melting him to death in a puddle of acid), but the last guy Defended. Ray continued to fight the the little guy out in the hallway, but the small Spork was super Defendy, and refused to just hold still and let Ray slay him. Sprout unleashed a paired attack; one critical and the other bennied twice but to to no avail. Zorf ended the Round with another Clusterbus, but missed all of the Sporks, instead hitting Sprout and blasting him unconscious into the corner at the speed of the plot! Round 2: Zorf rolled good Initiative this time and went first, noting as he powered up that the 2 remaining Sporks were eyeing Sprout's limp form in a particularly unsavory fashion, (and grabbing their crotches like they were warming up for a good skull-fucking?). Meanwhile, Ray double attacked for a Critical, (but the other one got Defended), then cleaved his guy in half. Finally ready, Zorff teleported back in behind the last two Sporks, double attacking & double hitting, Shock 4ing one guy and Shock 14ing the other! Then Ray Arc-Lightninged into the melee, hitting both guys 3 times, killing one of them and totally fucking up the other. Unfortunately, they were attacking simultaneously, armor bypassing biting Zorf for Necrotic Damage! Finally, Ray speared the last Spork and ended him, finishing the fight. The Squad remembered to put the fire out on Sprout before he burned to death, then started to search for secret doors. Ray rolled terrible to Perceive, eliciting a Pity Benny from Zorf, then Zorf also bailed, then Bennied and rolled 1% worse. No secret doors were found, but the search revealed Art Objects worth 6,000 Gold and 6,000 Mystic Salvage. One Combat Awarded! Spacedate: 4257.105.14.46 Braxxz Radioed-In to report that the Top of the Stairs were secure. Episode 34 Epilogue First Edition Homage Dungeon Crawl Still! '26 Generic Points Awarded ' Back to Space-Log Category:Space Fleet